some typoos

i'm just exhausted.

since the last dude i was seeing ended it (and with good cause, probably) i've been running around like a crazy person doing all sorts of pointless things to keep myself busy. i think it snapped my last thread of hope for dating. now i am trying to pack in all types of things that i wanted to do before...or things that i just randomly came up with to fill the space so i'm not jaded and sad in my room. movies, painting in my house, trying to cook (i cannot make anything), parties (not really), working, some drawing, some reading, some casual boning, volunteering for medical studies.

a study i'm going to be doing is taking maca root to see if it helps my libido when it comes to anti-depressants. since i probably don't have a problem now it might turn me into a crazy nympho. i've accepted this. gladly.

another one is a dental study with vitamin d where i can't brush my teeth for a month. this should be a challenge since i'm obsessed with my teeth (and other people's) and will have to avoid sugar and shit. will it break me? maybe. do i need four hundred bucks? i guess.

last night/this morning i was waiting for the 39 on the corner of huntington and south huntington around one am watching a possibly homeless guy (giant cart o' garbage) feel his blind way with a cane around someone's trash which was blocking the sidewalk. this was a ways away otherwise i'd jump to help him. and he was shouting something, possibly "help"...now that i think about it i could've walked over there...anyway, it wasn't too cold but the fact that he had nowhere to go or wasn't getting there fast because he was a hesitant blind man made me feel shitty that i was about to go home and take a long, self-indulgent shower. this dude starts yelling out the window for him to shut the fuck up, then realizes that he's not just some drunk asshole and comes out of the apt complex in his pajamas to talk to him and lead him across the street to the pizza place, buys him food and then my bus came.
this blew my mind. maybe the guy was newly blind. maybe he was just nuts. but he couldn't get across the street and who was gonna help him at one am? i imagined him giving up trying to get anywhere and huddling behind the garbage pile, trying to stay warm.
but i can't assume that anyone who looks crazy/homeless can't help themselves. that seems to be a common misconception.
i have to go to work. blah blah blah